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• Pogledaj temu - Vic dana
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POČETNA » Slobodna zona » Zabava » Vicevi



New Topic Post Reply  Stranica: 18/20.
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Autor Poruka
Izvan mreže  CaC1
 Naslov: Re: Vic dana
PostPostano: 26 ožu 2014, 17:43 
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Pridružen: 14 svi 2013, 18:17
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Datih hvala: 49 puta
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Prva bračna noć... stigli mladenci kući.Mlada ode do kupatila da se malo dotera i sredi.Izlazi mlada gola a muž će:• Jaoo draga što si lepa i seksi,daj da te slikam!• Što da me slikaš?• Ma da te imam uvek pored srca....•Dobro dragi,slikaj me.Muž je uslika pa ode on i do kupatila i izlazi go:• Mužiću moj dragi,daj i ja tebe da slikam!On sav ponosan, pita je:• Azašto da me slikaš?• Pa da mogu da uveličam!
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Izvan mreže  CaC1
 Naslov: Re: Vic dana
PostPostano: 27 ožu 2014, 21:31 
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Pridružen: 14 svi 2013, 18:17
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Datih hvala: 49 puta
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Napravio Mujo u Dalmaciji prometni prekršaj i zaustavi ga policajac.
- Znate li da ste prošli kroz crveno? To bi trebalo biti 1000 kuna, oduzeta
dozvola i tri boda. I što ćemo sad?
Mujo, pun love, kaže: - Pa evo ti tisuću kuna, imam ja love kolko hoćeš.
- Dobro, a što ćemo sa dozvolom?
- Ma evo ti i dozvola, imam ja još tri dozvole kod kuće.
- A što ćemo s tri boda?
- Ne znam... daj Hajduku.
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Izvan mreže  CaC1
 Naslov: Re: Vic dana
PostPostano: 28 ožu 2014, 19:38 
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Postovi: 694
Datih hvala: 49 puta
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Fata se hvalila prijateljicama kako je smrsala 5kg.
- Kako? , pitaju je.
- Mrkva, luk, krompiri, blitva...
- Kuvala ili przila?, zapitaju.
- Kopala!!!


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Izvan mreže  macak
 Naslov: Re: Vic dana
PostPostano: 03 tra 2014, 19:46 
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Pridružen: 13 lis 2012, 18:45
Postovi: 162
Datih hvala: 50 puta
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vozi mujoneka drva na traktoru ,priroda lipa cesta uziva ........
pretece ga Mercedes ,kad ono nakon dva kilometra Mercedes na cesti a plavusa pored i mase Muji da pomogne .......
skace mujo s traktora :roll: i divi se Mercedesu i sav u cudu da je u kvaru ........
nekako skonta :odlicno: da fali dizela te ulije desetak litara ....... cura sva sretna :muu: i trazi po torbici da mu plati kad ono poce da psuje kao zaboravila je novcanik ..... i pogleda u Muju on dvometras :sp: :sp: misicav poderane majice....

te poslije kratkoga razmisljnja ispod minice skide svoje Mercedes gacice te ih pokaza Muji :muu: i upita a mozemoli ovako posto nemam novcanika Gleda je Mujo gleda ,gleda te rece ma nema veze samo ti idi :Yahoo!: a te gacice hmmm .. ma moja ti je fata velike guze nema sanse da to obuce :ROFL: :lol: :ROFL: :ROFL: :lol: :lol: :lol: :ROFL:


DM 7020 HD,DM800 HD Pvr ,SAMSUNG UE55F8080 ,Iphone4s ,Iphone 5..........

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Izvan mreže  CaC1
 Naslov: Re: Vic dana
PostPostano: 04 tra 2014, 17:43 
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Pridružen: 14 svi 2013, 18:17
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Datih hvala: 49 puta
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Panduri
Voze se dva pandura patrolnim kolima i ispituju da li su kola ispravna.
-Jel rade kocnice!
Ovaj sto vozi, zakoci....
-Rade!
-Jel rade brisaci!
Vozac ukljuci brisace...
-Rade!
-Jel radi svetlo?
Ukljuci svetlo...
-Radi!
-Jel radi migavac?
Ukljuci migavac...
-Radi...ne radi...radi...ne radi...
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Izvan mreže  CaC1
 Naslov: Re: Vic dana
PostPostano: 10 tra 2014, 14:43 
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Datih hvala: 49 puta
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Nervozni direktor Crnogorac viče na
sekretaricu:
- Ođe nema nikakvog reda. Đe mi
je mobilni??
- Sve je u redu, direktore. Mobilni
vam je u ruci.
- Ama ženska glavo, zar ne vidiš da
nemam vremena i još me
zamajavaš. Govori konkretno - je li
u lijevoj ili u desnoj?!
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Izvan mreže  Debricasar
 Naslov: Re: Vic dana
PostPostano: 11 tra 2014, 18:03 
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Pridružen: 06 lip 2012, 06:08
Postovi: 684
Lokacija: Austrija
Datih hvala: 207 puta
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Sjela baka pored djeda i nasmiješila mu se. Nakon par minuta pita ona njega: l
Baka: Djede, reci ti meni koliko ti imaš godina? 
Djed: 93 
Baka: Uf, pa dobro izgledaš, nikad ti ne bih dala 
Djed: Ne bih ni mogao


Reci ljudima da postoji nevidljivi čovjek koji je stvorio svemir i vjerovati će ti, reci im da je boja mokra i morat će taknuti da budu sigurni!

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Izvan mreže  CaC1
 Naslov: Re: Vic dana
PostPostano: 12 tra 2014, 15:14 
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Pridružen: 14 svi 2013, 18:17
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Uđe deda u tramvaj i gleda gde da sedne. ali sva sedišta bijahu zauzeta.
Stane deda kod nekog momka, ali taj ne ferma da se digne dedi.
Deda počne kuckati štapom, pokušavajući skrenuti pažnju momka
da mu ustupi sedište, ali ovome je lupkanje štapa išlo na nerve pa kaže dedi:
Čuj matori, trebao si staviti gumu na štap da ne lupaš toliko.
Deda uzvrati. E moj sinko, da je tvoj ćaća blagovremeno stavio gumu, sada bih ja imao mesto da sednem.


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Izvan mreže  CaC1
 Naslov: Re: Vic dana
PostPostano: 13 tra 2014, 09:25 
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Datih hvala: 49 puta
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Došla Ciganka kod ginekologa ,upala mu u ordinaciju i povikala:
Ej.. doktor oš da m pogledaš p...u nešt tu nevalja.
Doktor se sav začudio i iznenadio pa kaže :
Pa gospođo ne možete baš tako da mi upadate
u ordinaciju i onda još da vičete i služite se
ružnim riječima, osim toga ne kaže se p...a
već se kaže vagina.
Ajd sad lijepo izađite i sve ispočetka.
I Ciganka sva pokunjena izađe
kad u trenu se vraća i proviri samo glavom kroz vrata i pita
Ej doktor, kak si ono reko da mi se p...a zove...je l Marina????
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Izvan mreže  CaC1
 Naslov: Re: Vic dana
PostPostano: 15 tra 2014, 19:24 
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Pridružen: 14 svi 2013, 18:17
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Datih hvala: 49 puta
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